Spiderman:
- Every bad thing that has ever happened to the people you love is your fault.
![](http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/2/28079/921292-spider_man_grieves_over_gwen_stacy_s_death_super.jpg)
![](http://www.constructiveanarchy.com/blog/11-14spidermangreatpower.jpg)
- A little radioactivity never hurt anyone.
- Once you go black, you do actually go back.
- Never let Tobey Maguire play you in a movie.
- Never let Tobey Maguire be in a movie.
- The amount you want to keep something secret is inversely proportional to how well that secret will be kept.
Batman:
- Money can buy anything, except for your parent's lives.
- Even without superpowers, you can still dress up in your underwear in public.
- Orphans are helpful in and out of the home.
- Orphan's are easily replaceable.
- Keeping completely random items in your fanny pack is not only useful, but also makes you irresistible to the ladies.
- Putting a giant bat face on the front of your fancy car doesn't qualify as a disguise. It's just gay.
- I don't care if it's a weapon, it still looks stupid.
- For every person who thinks you're the coolest thing since sliced bread, there is an internet community that hates you.
Superman:
- When you think you're the last of your species, there are still a few cousins, pets, and criminals floating around.
- If you have only one weakness, sure enough everyone will know about and have the means to exploit it.
- When a planet explodes, most of the remnants from the explosion will land on the same planet hundreds of light years away. This is a statistical fact.
- Superhypnotism. It works bitchez.
![](http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/3/39827/962485-powers_hypnosis_super.jpg)
I was going to leave it at that, but I came across some more wonderful examples of superman's power of making up new powers as he goes along. So, one last tidbit before we go...
![](http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/3/39827/962480-superman_145_phone_telepathy_super.jpg)
Yeah, because flying around the earth backwards to reverse time just wasn't enough.
I'm a fan of Super Landscaping. I'd use that. And perhaps Super Weaving....
ReplyDeleteJarod, women do find my belt irresistable. In fact, I haven't worn it a single time since I left school, and I haven't gotten laid once. Coincidence? I think not.
ReplyDeleteYou're right Reed, that can't be a coincidence. Is there an internet community that hates you? Because if so, you might be batman.
ReplyDeleteI don't know... I think Libertarians probably hate me, but they just don't know it yet.
ReplyDelete