With great power comes great disappointment...

Alright, so this weeks posts didn't go quite as planned, but I think my test went well.  Originally I was going to do a triple post today to make up for Wednesday and Thursday, but this idea came to fruition during work so here we are.  Below I have compiled a list of important life lessons that I learned from comic books.  The lessons are sorted by their related character.  Even though, they may have originated from a fictional world (or worlds) I still find them eerily applicable to the common schlub.

Spiderman:

• Every bad thing that has ever happened to the people you love is your fault.

• A little radioactivity never hurt anyone.
• Once you go black, you do actually go back.
• Never let Tobey Maguire play you in a movie.
• Never let Tobey Maguire be in a movie.
• The amount you want to keep something secret is inversely proportional to how well that secret will be kept.

Batman:

• Money can buy anything, except for your parent's lives.
• Even without superpowers, you can still dress up in your underwear in public.
• Orphans are helpful in and out of the home.
• Orphan's are easily replaceable.
• Keeping completely random items in your fanny pack is not only useful, but also makes you irresistible to the ladies.
• Putting a giant bat face on the front of your fancy car doesn't qualify as a disguise.  It's just gay.

• I don't care if it's a weapon, it still looks stupid.
• For every person who thinks you're the coolest thing since sliced bread, there is an internet community that hates you.

Batman's Gonna Get Shot in the Face | Movies & TV | SPIKE.com

Superman:

•  When you think you're the last of your species, there are still a few cousins, pets, and criminals floating around.
• If you have only one weakness, sure enough everyone will know about and have the means to exploit it.
• When a planet explodes, most of the remnants from the explosion will land on the same planet hundreds of light years away.  This is a statistical fact.
• Superhypnotism.  It works bitchez.

I was going to leave it at that, but I came across some more wonderful examples of superman's power of making up new powers as he goes along.  So, one last tidbit before we go...

Yeah, because flying around the earth backwards to reverse time just wasn't enough.