When all that's left is your gaping face hole...

Howdy everyone,

We have a special treat for you today.  It's called experimental college cooking class.  This is basically how it works.  I enjoy food.  I also happen to enjoy cooking.  Thirdly, I'm pretty fond of not being broke.  So essentially, I like to experiment with cooking while only using fairly cheap ingredients and see if I can get a gourmet meal out of it.

So far, no luck.

Well, it may not be gourmet, but I have managed to stumble across some pretty tasty crazy ideas in my recently domesticated life.  Here's one I made just this week on the fly.  The ingredients are cheap and easy to find and the techniques you'll need to cook it are simple as well.

Now grab your frying pan and get ready, my poor college brethren.  In the immortal words of the king of comedy himself:

Here...we...go.

Ingredients:
1 package raman noodles (it doesn't matter what flavor, we won't be using the seasoning)
1 14oz can of diced tomatoes
2-3 cloves of garlic
1-2 glugs olive oil (if you don't know what a glug is, that's okay.  Neither do I, just buy a bottle).
salt
pepper
parsley (feel free to get the cheap dried stuff, that's what I did).
1 package frozen breaded chicken patties (You'll only need 1 or 2 patties depending on how hungry you are. I'm a fatty, so I had four)

Directions:
Now it's very important you follow these directions exactly.  If you don't, untold horrors will abound upon you and your kitchen.  That being said, it clearly follows that if this dish tastes terrible, it is your fault.

• Follow the directions on the chicken patty package for cooking the patties.  Preheat the oven first.  Add the patties to the hot oven after the water starts boiling (see step two).  Everything else won't take too long.
• Okay, first get a pot of water boiling.  This is for cooking the Raman.  I know these directions are on the package, but I'll walk you through them here for those of you who can't read.
• Once the water is boiling, add the noodles.  Some people break the noodles beforehand.  I usually just add the whole sha-bang at once.
• Alright, now while the noodles are cooking, lightly coat the bottom of a frying pan with olive oil and bring to a low heat (around three).
• Roughly dice the garlic cloves and add them to the hot oil.  Keep an eye on them so that they don't burn.  They should never get darker than a light brown color. 
• While your garlic and noodles are cooking, empty your can of diced tomatoes into a bowl.  Mix in the salt, pepper, and parsley to taste.  This is the primary source of deliciousness for the meal, so don't be afraid to keep testing it until it's just right for your palette.  Just don't let the garlic burn!
• When the noodles are done (tender) strain off all the water.  You can use a strainer, the lid of the pot, or grab each individual piece out with your hand.  I don't really care.  Just separate the water from the noodles, got it?
• Let the noodles rest for a bit while you heat up your tomatoes.  Take your mixture of tomatoes and deliciousness and add it to the frying pan with the garlic and oil.  I'd turn the stove down to 2 or low right about now.  We just want to heat the mixture, not cook anything.  That's the important thing.
• Once your tomatoes and everything are nice and hot and delicious, add the noodles.  That's right, in the frying pan.  We're getting crazy in here.
• Mix the noodles and sauce thoroughly and get your chicken out of the oven.  Slice the chicken patty into strips.  
• Place the noodles and sauce into a bowl/plate and lay the chicken strips on top in a fancy arrangement. Remember, presentation is EVERYTHING.  If your food doesn't look good, it won't taste good.  This is probably a good life lesson as well.

Voila!  (That's French for "meal time")  You are done with you delicious, inexpensive, slightly ghetto meal.  Enjoy.  Once you're familiar with the basic recipe, try adjusting little things and see how the flavors turn out.  Different spices are a good change, but don't be a Maverick!  If you've got a special someone coming over, I suggest trying a little cilantro in your sauce instead of parsley.  That ought to let them know how you feel.  Remember, nothing says "I Love you" like fresh herbs in canned tomatoes.