Okay, back to business.
So, how about that Mystery Google?
For those of you who don't know what Mystery Google is (and were just too lazy to be bothered with my lovingly created link), let me enlighten you. Mystery Google is a search engine where you type a set of words into the search bar (like normal) and then press the "search" button (still normal). Finally you get the search results of what the person before you typed in (say what?).
Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking:
"I really want some cheesecake."
But I want you to focus for a second, fatty. You can have your dairy getaway when we're done here.
Now what you should be thinking is "Who would want to use that? A search engine is for finding what I searched for." I completely agree sir or madam. Who would want that? A lonely, lonely person looking for some entertainment on a Friday night. That's who. I assume.
Alright, moving on.
So while checking out this site, purely for research purposes of course, I discovered something else. People apparently decide it's a great idea to search for their own contact information with little messages attached. This is so that the next completely random person can then use this contact information to, well, contact them. So after several encounters with such search results, I decided to join in the fun.
First I found a young man's e-mail with a note asking for hot chicks to e-mail him so they could "talk." This message came up not once, but several times in a short period of time. So, to inform said young man about the "copy" and "paste" functions of computers these days, I made some adjustments to his initial chauvinistic message. Let's just say that the online community may have been confused about gender and/or sexual preference. Don't worry though, I left his request to "talk" as it was.
Now the second enjoyable part of this experience can only be explained by letting you experience it as I did. The following is a AIM session between me and another person who left his screen name online in an attempt to meet new people. I've changed the screen names for his and my protection. I am "ME" and he is "HIM."
ME (9:52:09 PM): hiya, got your mystery message. S'up?
HIM (9:55:57 PM): not much, you?
ME (9:56:12 PM): meh, not a whole lot
HIM (9:56:55 PM): cool
ME (9:57:28 PM): yeah, I suppose if anything big was going on, neither of us would have been on Mystery Google
HIM (9:57:57 PM): probably not lol
ME (9:59:44 PM): Chat with random people a lot?
HIM (10:00:00 PM): every once in a while
HIM (10:00:01 PM): you?
ME (10:00:07 PM): not really
ME (10:00:17 PM): are you ever worried that one of them is
ME (10:00:18 PM): you know
ME (10:00:21 PM): a velociraptor?
HIM is offline (10:00:36 PM)
There you have it folks. Within 15 seconds of changing the subject this guy leaves me hanging. How rude.
So there you have it folks, I hereby issue a challenge. Go on said "Mystery Google" and find yourself another fool who doesn't seem to understand that internet anonymity doesn't make them invincible. The rules are as follows:
- It must be anonymous.
- You must either let the person lead the conversation at first OR you must start with a normal subject.
- After a short while you must drastically change the subject. No gently nudging into it. One second it's the weather and the next war torn unicorns.
- Whoever has the shortest time between the change of subject and the other person ending the conversation wins.
Before I let you go, one last piece of food for thought:
Imaginary Hamburgers.
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